Day 146: What We’re Really Searching For Beneath Every Desire

I read something this morning that stayed with me because it felt so simple and so true at the same time.

It said that underneath every desire is really the desire to feel good.

And the more I sat with that, the more I realized how much of our lives are shaped by the feelings we think certain things will give us.

We think we want the relationship, the money, the success, the move, the recognition, the freedom, the healing, or the next big thing.

But underneath all of those desires is usually a feeling we’re hoping to experience once we get there.

Peace.
Joy.
Relief.
Safety.
Connection.
Freedom.
Aliveness.

That’s really what we’re looking for.

And sometimes we become so focused on achieving the thing itself that we lose touch with the feeling we were actually hoping it would give us.

We tell ourselves things like:
“I’ll finally relax when this happens.”
“I’ll finally feel happy when I get there.”
“I’ll finally feel safe when everything is figured out.”

But life has shown me over and over again that external circumstances by themselves don’t automatically create inner peace.

I’ve seen people finally get the thing they thought would change everything and still feel restless, disconnected, anxious, or emotionally exhausted afterward.

And I’ve also known people with very ordinary lives who felt deeply peaceful and genuinely happy.

That changes the way you start looking at success.

Because maybe success is not really about appearances, money, status, or achievement the way we’ve been taught.

Maybe the real measure of success is how connected we feel to ourselves while we’re living our lives.

How much peace we feel.


How much joy we allow ourselves to experience.


How present we are.


How connected we feel to God or the Universe, to life, to the people we love, and to ourselves.

For many years now, I’ve been less interested in building a life that only looks good from the outside while feeling exhausting on the inside.


I don’t want success that costs me my peace.


I don’t want accomplishments that disconnect me from myself.


And I don’t want to spend my whole life postponing joy until some future moment when everything finally falls perfectly into place.


Because there will always be another goal.

Another level.
Another thing to fix or improve.


Life keeps moving.

And somewhere along the way I realized joy is not supposed to be something we only allow ourselves after everything is perfect.

Joy is sitting quietly with your coffee in the morning.

It’s laughing with someone you love.

It’s feeling your shoulders finally relax after carrying too much for too long.

Sometimes it’s simply feeling connected to yourself again.


That kind of joy feels very different than chasing.


It feels grounded.

Joy is not the reward at the end of life.


It’s meant to be part of the path itself.

Today’s Gentle Practice

Notice today if there is something you’ve been telling yourself you need in order to finally feel happier, safer, more peaceful, or more fulfilled.


Then gently ask yourself:
“What feeling am I actually hoping this will give me?”

Sit with that for a moment.


And then see if there’s even one small way you can allow yourself to experience a little more of that feeling today, exactly where you are now.


Sometimes the feeling we’ve been chasing is closer than we realize.


With you,


Lynn