Day 153: The Messy Middle of Transformation

I’m feeling a little anxious right now. There’s so much going on in my life.

And whenever life is moving me into a new version of myself, there’s usually a period where I feel a little uncomfortable, uncertain, emotionally stretched, or somewhere in-between.

Not fully who I used to be anymore, but not fully settled into who I’m becoming yet either.

Before I knew better, I thought those seasons meant something was wrong.

In those early years, I thought uncertainty meant I was making mistakes.

I thought discomfort meant I should go backward.

I thought feeling untethered meant I was somehow losing myself.

Now I see those periods very differently.

Transformation tends to have a messy middle.

There’s almost always a space where the old version of your life, your identity, your habits, or even your relationships no longer fit the same way, while the new version hasn’t fully formed yet either.

That’s one of the hardest parts of growth.

Not the beginning when you first realize something needs to change.

Not the breakthrough after everything finally clicks into place.

The middle. The part where you can feel yourself changing internally while parts of your external life still reflect the old version of you.

That can feel strange.

You start noticing conversations that no longer resonate with you.

Old ways of coping stop working.

Certain environments begin feeling heavy or energetically off.

You react differently to things that used to feel normal.

There’s this strange feeling of standing between two versions of yourself.

A lot of people panic there because the mind wants certainty. It wants things to feel familiar and predictable again as quickly as possible.

But growth often feels unfamiliar before it feels natural.

Your nervous system is adjusting.

Your beliefs are shifting.

Your emotional patterns are changing.

Your energy is reorganizing.

That takes time.

I’ve learned not to panic during those seasons anymore.

Now when I feel that internal shifting happening, I recognize it for what it is.

Not failure.

Not confusion.

Not life falling apart.

Reorganization. And yet, it can still make me anxious.

Eventually the outer parts of life begin catching up to those inner shifts.

Some of the biggest transformations in my life happened after periods where I felt exactly like this.

In-between.

Those seasons can feel uncomfortable, but they’re also sacred.

They’re where so much becoming happens.

And maybe part of personal and spiritual growth is learning not to run backward just because the unfamiliar feels uncomfortable for a little while.

The unfamiliar is simply evidence that we’re expanding beyond who we used to be.

Today’s Gentle Practice

Notice today if there is an area of your life where you feel emotionally in-between.

Maybe an old version of you no longer fits, but the new version hasn’t fully settled into place yet either.

Instead of rushing to fix the discomfort, gently ask yourself:

“What if this season is not confusion, but reorganization?”

Sit quietly with that possibility for a moment.

Sometimes growth feels uncertain simply because we are becoming someone we haven’t fully met yet.

With you,

Lynn