Day 154: The Small Sparks That Change Our Lives

There are a few words that are very misunderstood, and desire is one of them.

Desire in many arenas is used in a negative way of wanting something forbidden, or bad for you.

Desire is a pure natural feeling.

It’s what clues us in to recognize when something is more than a fleeting thought.

When we really are interested in something, desire to be, do, or have what that feeling represents, develops.

But, when you have a desire you don’t feel is possible for you or that you shouldn’t want, desire becomes more of an uncomfortable feeling because you don’t expect to see your desire realized.

I remember when I was in 6th grade I made a new friend whose older sister, Stephanie, played the violin.

She was in high school, had long black hair, and she was beautiful. She was also very good at playing the violin.

I wanted to be all the things I thought she was, so I decided I would play violin too.

There were several desires all tangled up in this scenario. Being tall, being beautiful, and playing an instrument that seemed exotic, until I went home and told my mom.

She was 100% against it. She had taken lessons when she was a kid and didn’t want to have to listen to all that screeching in her house.

But the more I thought about it, the more the desire grew to learn the violin.

I spent my summer taking lessons and practicing.

When 7th grade started, I became part of the junior high orchestra and quickly moved into first chair beating out a 9th grader who had played longer.

I loved playing in the orchestra, and the sense of belonging to something bigger than me.

That winter we had a joint concert with the high school and it was a highlight of my school memories because I sat there first chair next to my hero Stephanie.

My violin career was cut short by a move to another town where they didn’t have an orchestra. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I would have continued.

That’s a desire that arose spontaneously, and sparked something I didn’t know was inside me.

It was something real and it enhances my life by participating in it.

It awakened something in me that had been quietly waiting to be expressed.

Even though that season was brief, it changed how I saw myself.

Desire is an eager anticipation of something that increases our vibration in the direction of that feeling, bringing it to us.

Your desires can be something very small or something huge.

They all start the same way, with a little spark you weren’t expecting until one moment, there it is.

Respect those moments, and see where those desires will lead you.

Today’s Gentle Practice

Pay attention today to any small spark of interest, curiosity, excitement, or desire that naturally arises within you.

Not the things you think you should want.

The things that quietly light you up.

Maybe it’s learning something new.

Creating something.

Going somewhere.

Trying something you’ve never done before.

Revisiting something you once loved.

Instead of dismissing it, gently ask yourself:

“What might this feeling be trying to show me?”

Sometimes desire is not random.

Sometimes it’s life trying to lead us toward parts of ourselves that are waiting to be expressed.

With you,

Lynn