Day 156: Why Emotional Healing Happens in Baby Steps

The wheels were digging deeper trenches in the sand with every inch the motorhome moved forward.

And then suddenly there was no more sand. Just a drop-off.

Something had clearly been calculated wrong.

We had measured multiple times to make sure all the pergola posts were in the right place so the motorhome would fit underneath properly and the slide-outs would clear the center posts on both sides.

We measured before the posts went in.

We measured again after the first three posts were installed.

And somehow, it still went wrong.

What I thought was going to be a happy and easy move into the motorhome’s permanent spot turned into anything but.

Then there was the issue of the sand.

Why did the contractor use sand instead of gravel to level the site?

I watched him compact it by hand the way they do here, wetting the surface and pounding it down.

At no point did he say, “You can’t compact sand.” Until after yesterday’s situation when it became obvious.

And that’s when the catastrophizing started.

He had given me a choice of materials. I said, “Whatever is easier for you.”

But why give me a choice that wasn’t really a choice if you already knew one option wouldn’t work?

Then there was the motorhome getting stuck in loose sand.

And because leveling the site elevated the parking area, we couldn’t move forward far enough for the utilities to connect.

From the outside, this was probably a comedy of errors.

Meanwhile, it was over 90 degrees with 65% humidity first thing in the morning, and all I wanted was to get the air conditioning running.

My mind was going a mile a minute and I was nowhere close to my normal calm self.

Even in the middle of this temporary meltdown, part of me felt like it was standing outside the situation watching myself and shaking its head.

Like: “Why is she putting herself through this? It has to be resolved eventually, and this emotional spiral isn’t helping.”

The other part of me just needed to vent, because for me, verbalizing releases emotional pressure.

I’d love to tell you this whole thing lasted five minutes, but honestly, it played out over about two hours.

More sand, which still makes no sense to me, was brought in along with a truck of water to compact another few feet so the motorhome could move forward enough to get everything connected.

Eventually I got the motorhome leveled, better than I ever have before, and by lunchtime things were mostly resolved.

At least as resolved as they were going to be yesterday.

There are times when we just lose it.

It happens.

We’re human.

I wish I could say that 30+ years of meditation made me permanently immune to moments like this, but no.

The difference is that now I understand how emotional energy actually works.

When we’re determined to feel better, we naturally reach for better feeling thoughts.

But one of the biggest mistakes we make is trying to make an emotional leap that our nervous system simply cannot accept yet.

When I’m freaking out, trying to jump straight to, “Everything is fine. Everything will work out perfectly.”, doesn’t help. It’s too big of a leap.

Emotional energy doesn’t move that way. Shifting your emotional vibration happens in baby steps.

First I needed to take a deep breath and remind my nervous system that I was not actually in danger.

Then I could ask myself what I was really feeling and recognize how far down the rabbit hole my mind had gone.

From there, I could reach for one slightly better feeling thought. And if my mind accepted that thought, great.

A few minutes later, I could reach for another thought that felt just a little better.

And little by little, calmness returned.

The situation itself hadn’t changed yet.

The questions about why this happened and how to fix it were still there because something still needed to be resolved.

But I was no longer emotionally drowning inside the problem.

We can do this any time we lose our calm, justified or not.

We check in with ourselves honestly about what we’re feeling, and then gently move ourselves one small step at a time toward relief.

I don’t know about you, but for me, this process usually begins after I’ve verbalized or texted everything I need to get out first. And that’s okay too.

There is always a better feeling thought we can access.

Today’s Gentle Practice

The next time you feel emotionally overwhelmed today, pause for a moment and check in with yourself honestly.

Not where you think you should be emotionally. Where you actually are.

Then ask yourself:

“What is one slightly better-feeling thought I can reach for right now?”

Not a giant leap into positivity.

Not pretending everything is perfect.

Just one small step toward relief.

Take a breath.

Let your nervous system settle a little.

And allow yourself to move gradually instead of demanding instant calm from yourself.

Sometimes emotional healing happens one better-feeling thought at a time.

With you,

Lynn