Day 157: What Self-Love Actually Looks Like
Today’s affirmation from Louise Hay is, “I am willing to learn to love myself.”
Sounds simple, right?
The whole topic of loving yourself gets a lot of eye rolling.
I started to type that I don’t know why, and then I realized, yes I do.
My theory is that many people don’t love themselves and don’t even think it’s possible.
They don’t know where to start, feel they are too far away from that reality, so they convince themselves it’s not important.
It’s just one of those touchy feely things hippies started back in the ’60’s.
The rest of the people are trying, at least a little to make it true.
Decades ago when Louise introduced doing mirror work, it showed good number of people cannot look themselves in the eyes and say something positive.
And yet, if we do it anyway, it gets easier and easier until you can actually accept you saying nice things to yourself.
For me, when I read this statement this morning, my first thought was that if we don’t learn to love ourselves, how can we really love anyone else?
And that took me back to yesterday, when I got a text from the worker I was upset with the day before.
He wanted to be paid.
I had already let the mistakes he had made go.
Forgiveness and grace, for myself and others.
When I was in the middle of the drama the day before, not having a clue how to resolve the situation, I didn’t blame myself or call myself names.
In the distant past, I would have been triggered. I would have blamed myself for not being prepared for every possibility.
It would have reinforced an old belief that I wasn’t good enough.
But not now. Those thoughts didn’t occur to me.
At the same time as I was upset with Juan, I also felt bad for him.
I can tell he’s a man who takes pride in his work does his best. Not the kind of person to cut corners.
So, I didn’t want him to feel bad about the mistakes he made.
I texted him back that I had his money and that we also needed to talk about how to resolve this and the next project I have for him.
How far does grace and forgiveness go?
If this was you, would expect him to pay for the resolution of the situation?
Honestly, I wasn’t 100% sure. I was going to see what he had to say.
He offered a solution. I offered a different one and told him to check that out and see what he thought.
Neither one of us mentioned cost or who would pay.
I will pay for it.
Why?
I think it has something to do with me learning to truly love myself years ago.
It really changed me and it gave me the ability to extend that love and empathy to others.
When we love ourselves we are free to give that love as an extension of who we are.
I don’t know if I would have realized all this was underneath what happened two days ago if I hadn’t been writing to you this morning.
I learn things about myself all the time as I dig deep to share these daily notes with you.
I hope they give as much to you in reading them as they give to me in writing them.
When I started on January 1st, I had no expectations at all for how this would play out.
Just my inner voice telling me to do it.
So far, it’s been quite a gift for me and I hope for you as well.
We’re less than half way through the year, and I have a feeling this is going to be quite the transformational journey for both of us.
Today’s Gentle Practice
Pay attention today to the way you speak to yourself when something goes wrong, becomes stressful, or doesn’t unfold the way you hoped.
Notice whether your first instinct is to criticize yourself, blame yourself, or reinforce an old story about not being enough.
Then pause and gently ask yourself:
“What would grace sound like here instead?”
Not avoidance.
Not pretending mistakes don’t matter.
Just responding to yourself with the same compassion and understanding you would naturally offer someone you love.
Because real self-love is not perfection. It’s emotional safety.
And the more emotionally safe we become within ourselves, the more naturally love, forgiveness, and empathy begin flowing outward into our relationships with others.
With you,
Lynn
