Day 163: We Get To Choose How We “What If”

What if…

Does your mind finish that sentence with a positive or a negative?

If we ask ourselves that question as soon as we wake up, the way we finish it gives us a good indication of our frame of mind.

What if I go to the beach for breakfast and have pancakes?

What if the cancer comes back?

It's a jarring difference, isn't it?

But for a woman who has just come through cancer, those two questions can come within mili-seconds of each other.

That's just how our brain works.

What struck me is that both questions are using the exact same faculty: imagination.

One is imagining something enjoyable.

The other is imagining something frightening.

Same mind.

Same creative ability.

Different direction.

This morning I'm having some guys come over and take the furniture from my rooftop patio and carry it down 4 flights of spiral stairs to the cargo trailer that will take it to the motorhome.

I am so grateful I don't have to do it myself or worry about how it will get done.

I just send a text, pay some money and it's taken care.

I still went through some what if's to get there though.

What if I hire movers to do everything at once?

What if I ask someone who has a truck?

What if I get a trailer and move things as I'm ready?

What if the loose sand situation isn't resolved when I get there?

That was an easy on. The stuff will stay in the trailer until the ground is ready for it.

Those were practical questions with practical solutions.

The bigger what ifs are different.

What if once I'm there it's not what I expected?

What if I have a noisy neighbor?

What if those big mean dogs in front of me get loose?

Those are the kinds of what ifs that quietly turn into worry.

They ask questions that have no answers yet and no action attached to them.

My imagination starts creating problems that don't exist in this moment.

And if I'm not paying attention, my body responds as though they already do.

My what if's have changed a lot over the decades as I learned the difference between things I can influence or control and things I can't.

And then there's the most exciting part of what if's.

Using them for good and fun instead of fear and worry.

We can also use what ifs intentionally.

Instead of using imagination to rehearse problems, we can use it to explore possibilities.

What if these guys are so quick and efficient they get everything in the trailer without any issues in less than 30 minutes and are happy to have the easy money?

That's a whole lot better than, what if they have trouble getting the big pieces down the stairs?

What if's can also be used to dream, imagine, explore possibilities.

What if I plant a garden? I can bring in organic soil, put it on irrigation for when I'm not there, and have fresh organic produce to share with my neighbors.

What if I create a sacred space for meditation and yoga with gardenias and jasmine and a small fountain?

We get to choose how we 'what if'.

These are simple examples, but for someone coming through cancer, a divorce, grief, or any major life transition, the stakes can feel much higher.

The what ifs can either support healing and recovery or send us into a spiral of fear and worry.

I like to think of any point of change, small or large, as a pivot point.

A threshold that we cross from one thing to another.

Every threshold comes with uncertainty.

We don't know exactly what waits on the other side.

That's where our what ifs show us something important.

They reveal where our energy naturally goes.

Toward possibility?

Or toward fear?

Toward creation?

Or toward protection?

Neither is right or wrong.

But becoming aware of how we use our imagination gives us a choice.

We can spend our energy rehearsing problems that may never happen.

Or we can begin exploring possibilities we would genuinely like to experience.

The future is unknown either way.

We might as well spend more time imagining outcomes that feel good.

Every transition comes with uncertainty.

We never fully know what waits on the other side.

But our imagination is going to fill in the blanks either way.

The question is whether we're using it to rehearse fear or explore possibility.

That's why paying attention to our what ifs matters.

They reveal where our energy is going.

And once we become aware of that, we have a choice.

Today's Gentle Practice

Pay attention to your 'what ifs' today.

Not to judge them.

Just to notice them.

When a what if appears, pause and ask yourself:

Is this helping me solve a problem, explore a possibility, or rehearse a fear?

Notice how different each one feels in your body.

Then choose one what if and gently redirect it.

Instead of:

"What if it goes wrong?"

Try:

"What if it works out better than I expected?"

Your imagination is going to create future scenarios either way.

You might as well give it some beautiful possibilities to explore.

With you,

Lynn