Day 164: Maybe Anger Is a Step Forward

I've been noticing the word anger coming up in different ways over the last 24 hours.

So, I take that as a sign to talk about that right now.

Anger is a tough one for me because even though it used to be a staple in my life, I find it really hard to even imagine what that would feel like in my body anymore.

I'm not talking about getting angry with someone for a minute, having an argument.

I'm talking about anger as an emotion that is persistent, a place where your emotional set point is right now.

I think what started it was the other day when I was talking about negative emotions.

Afterward I was wondering if it was accurate to label them negative.

The more I thought about it, the more accurate way to describe them would be lower level, or lower vibration emotions.

Because when life is at a place where you're really going through something, maybe anger is a step up.

Maybe anger actually feels like hope.

If you've been living in grief, depression, powerlessness, or hopelessness, anger can be a big step up.

From this perspective, anger would be celebrated.

It shows you have elevated your emotions to a place of caring enough about something to be angry.

That's what struck me.

Anger isn't always evidence that we're moving in the wrong direction.

Sometimes it's evidence that we've started moving again.

If you've been sitting in hopelessness, grief, numbness, or resignation, anger can be the first sign that some part of you still believes things could be different.

And that matters.

I look at it in an encouraging way, that if you feel anger, you care, and if you care, there is a future worth caring about, something to live for, something to move toward.

Even if you don't know what that is yet.

This is exactly why other people can't tell you how you should feel about where you are emotionally.

Nobody is walking in your shoes or thinking your thoughts.

Only you know that.

Looking at anger from the outside people have one opinion, but if they could feel it from the inside like you do, it would be very different.

It's all about the feeling.

We can't just leap up the emotional scale.

It's a step by step thing.

You have a thought that is a little bit better and you feel a shift.

You nurture that feeling and those thoughts and then you have a thought that's even a little bit better.

And before you know it, your set point is now higher and you can feel the difference in your energy.

Over time those small shifts add up.

One slightly better thought.

One slightly better feeling.

One moment of awareness at a time.

And before you know it, you're responding to life differently than you once did.

Sometimes the biggest changes happen so gradually we don't even notice them until we look back.

How did I get to the point where it's hard for me to feel a lower emotion than disappointment?

Little by little over time.

Not because I was trying to eliminate emotions.

Not because I became spiritually enlightened.

But because I kept paying attention.

I kept choosing slightly better feeling thoughts when I could find them.

And eventually my emotional home base changed.

And then this insight came later, looking back.

The thing I thought was wrong might actually be showing me that I'm moving forward.

Is it possible that life could crack me open again and I could feel things I haven't felt in a long time?

Yes, that's always a possibility because life is not a straight line.

Knowing where you are emotionally is a wonderful tool for creating a self-led life because it helps you understand yourself.

And when you understand yourself on a deeper level, you are more empowered and creating in real time what you want your life to be and how you choose to feel.

Today's Gentle Practice

Notice where you are emotionally today without trying to change it.

Just notice.

Then ask yourself:

"If this feeling is trying to tell me something, what might it be?"

Instead of judging the emotion, become curious about it.

Every emotion carries information.

Sometimes what feels uncomfortable isn't evidence that something is wrong.

Sometimes it's evidence that something is shifting.

With you,

Lynn

P.S. If you haven't grabbed your copy of the 25th Anniversary Edition of Change One Thing, Change Your Life, you can get it here. This is the one tool I keep going back to over and over anytime I have a question about my life or a feeling it's time to go deeper and get another level of clarity.