Day 172: I Asked for This. So Why Am I Nervous?

Right now there is a lot of changes going on in my life.

I find myself speeding up and slowing down at the same time.

In one way things are speeding up and happening so fast, even though I had asked for them and set it in motion.

I was as prepared as you can be for the unknown.

So as the final days to everything being completed are here, I find myself internally feeling like I need to slow it down.

I need more time. I'm not quite as emotionally prepared as I'd like to be.

But it's just like me to take on multiple major shifts at the same time.

And yet, I always handle it.

The question I'm asking myself this morning is, am I handling it well?

We ask for change.

We want the next chapter.

Then when it arrives, we discover that wanting something and being emotionally ready for it are not always the same thing.

You may assume that if you want it, you should feel excited.

But a lot of the time we move from feeling:

Excited.

Grateful.

Terrified.

Overwhelmed.

Doubtful.

Hopeful.

And then back to excited.

Possibly all in 5 minutes.

Would it be better in the future if I limit myself to one major shift at a time? Maybe.

I'm juggling three major changes right now and my self-imposed, and now hard deadline is in 9 days.

To say it's getting real is an understatement.

That's what happens when a desire becomes a vision, and the wheels start turning to make your dreams a reality.

The percentages of "I want it" and "I'm scared" change significantly at different stages of manifestation.

Oh, did you think manifesting was a simple process where angels with trumpets just drop whatever you want into your life and everything is great?

No, it can be messy, like everything in life.

These feelings don't mean I've made a mistake.

They mean something real is happening.

Maybe my nervous system is simply catching up to a reality I asked for.

Right now, I'm not exactly sure where I am on the percentages, because they're shifting daily, sometimes hourly.

Where I am on the emotional scale fluctuates.

I am very aware of the emotions I'm feeling and stop to check in with myself often.

Even typing these thoughts is making my heart rate increase. I can feel my heart pounding.

This is the closest thing to saying it all out loud.

But that's also a good thing because when we are clear on what we're feeling we remember that we're in control of the way we feel.

We get to choose the desires we act on.

Along the way, we go through lots of variety and contrast to show us what we want in our lives and what we don't.

Everything we go through gives us multiple data points of contrast that tell us yes or no, or maybe yes, but not exactly that way.

It's all valuable input, even if we don't enjoy experiencing the contrast in the moment.

I knew there would be times when I'd be hit by a wave of, "what the hell am I doing?", and then, "right, now I remember."

And it's still scary at times.

The important thing is that we don't let these kind of cycles stop us from moving forward on that vision we have of the life we want to live.

These cycles are normal. They aren't cold feet.

They are just signs that things are changing at a somewhat scary speed. And that's ok.

Big picture, we asked and now what we asked for is showing up.

It may look a little different than expected. It often does.

But the exact right version for us is what will show up.

Because we are in control of how we feel, in the end, we can relax and enjoy the ride.

All of this flowed from our unique desires and is in alignment with who we are choosing to become at this very moment.

Today's Gentle Practice

Think about something in your life that is currently changing.

Maybe it's something you've wanted for a long time.

A dream.

A move.

A relationship.

A new chapter.

Then notice what you're feeling.

Not what you think you should be feeling.

What you're actually feeling.

Excitement?

Fear?

Gratitude?

Doubt?

Hope?

All of the above?

Instead of judging those emotions, simply acknowledge them.

Sometimes getting what we asked for feels uncomfortable because our lives changed before our nervous system had time to catch up.

And that's okay.

With you,

Lynn