Day 199: Doing It All Alone Is Not Required

Last night, one sentence at the end of a comment on my latest Substack Note really hit me.

She wrote, "Doing it all on my own is not necessary in the next phase of my life."

That one sentence could be a mantra for so many women.

A new agreement with ourselves.

We can choose to stop our previous patterns at any time.

I was a card-carrying member of the 'I can do it myself' club.

I held the belief that it was better to struggle and do it myself than to accept help, because I had learned through experience that the price of accepting help was too high.

There would always be something held over my head of what I owed for that help.

I experienced it enough times that I made a rule about it and it became a belief that wasn't questioned for decades.

I don't know exactly where that started and it's not important to go back and figure it out.

It's not necessary to dissect the past. All that's needed is to choose something that is true for us now and keep choosing that moving forward.

So, reading that sentence made me check in with myself and ask if there were places in my life that I was still holding on to needing to do it all on my own.

I'm happy to say I didn't find any.

But what I did notice is that sometimes I feel like I want to ask for help with something specific and I can't find the right person who could help me. Or I have access to someone but I'm not yet clear on what I want to ask.

And that's ok.

That's different from refusing help. It's waiting for alignment.

There is a difference between isolating myself because of an old wound and pausing because the next step has not fully formed yet.

When the timing is right, the person will be there and the question or request will be clear.

Sometimes we're meant to sit in something for a while and give it time.

Not everything is about instant resolution to every thought or question we have.

Louise Hay says, "Every experience I have leads me to a greater understanding of my purpose on earth."

That helps me to put everything in perspective. Even the old pattern had something to teach me.

It showed me where I had learned to protect myself, and now it is showing me where I am ready to trust life in a different way.

We don't have to force ourselves to ask for help before we're clear or insist on doing everything alone.

All we have to do is stay open to the next aligned support when it shows up.

Today's Gentle Practice

Think about one place in your life where you may still be trying to do it all on your own.

Ask yourself:

Am I choosing this from strength, or from an old belief that help comes with a price?

You don't have to force yourself to ask for help today.

Just notice what feels true.

Sometimes the first shift is simply admitting you don't have to carry everything alone.

With you,

Lynn