Day 210: Your Reason Has to Be Stronger
This morning I read this from Wayne Dyer and felt like it encapsulated the coming together of what we really value, not just what we tell ourselves we value, along with our dominant thoughts, habits and beliefs.
These are the things that drive our life choices and we always have the power to shift them at any moment we decide differently.
"Eliminating lifelong thinking habits cannot and will not happen if it doesn't strike you as a sensible thing to do.
It doesn't really matter that everyone you know tells you how important it is to change—if it doesn't make sense to you, then you'll retreat to your old ways and continue to explain them away with your convenient laundry list of excuses.
If the answer to "Do I really want to bring about this change?" is yes, then that's all you need in order to proceed and succeed.
But if you have any doubts whatsoever, your old excuse making will surface, and you'll revert back to your long-held habits."
Let that sink in for a minute. Wayne doesn't pull any punches. He lays it out straight.
If you don't have a compelling reason for making the change you say you want to make, one that will override your own self doubts, weaknesses, and equally important the opinions of others, then whatever you shift in your life, probably won't last.
Years ago I heard the saying that your income equals the income of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
Back then I was pretty happy about that because I was just starting out and the people I was hanging out with were my mentors who were doing very well.
Then I also started to notice that a lot of friend groups or families that were close dressed similarly and ate the same kinds of things and had similar body types.
Meaning they all valued similar things, developed similar habits, and held similar beliefs.
So the group mentality can be very difficult to break out of.
It doesn't matter if you want to start a business, lose weight, leave a relationship, quit your job, or move away.
Doing something to upset the status quo of the group is usually not looked upon as a good thing.
For one thing, if you make a change, the other people in your life can't unsee it.
It forces them to take a look at their choices or just condemn you for making a new choice.
I think you know which one is easier.
At 34, I stopped eating meat. I didn't call it being a vegetarian, because the first few times I tried to explain to people in my world, they'd never heard of it and didn't understand.
It was easier to just say I don't eat meat.
Then they would say, "You can have chicken then."
It was at least a decade before I even met another person who was a vegetarian.
But my reason was so compelling to me, that despite the obstacles almost 40 years ago of opinions of family and friends, eating in restaurants, going to functions, and eating while traveling, I never even considered going back.
Yes, it would have been way easier to say I tried it but it was just too hard. Or I missed meat, or a number of other reasons.
But my reason for doing it was more important to me.
It was built on a foundation of my values, my desires, my thoughts, beliefs, and the new habits I was creating.
Over time those strengthen into something that is very hard to break.
But in the beginning, when you're making a new choice, you have to guard it and support, because the new version of you is still learning how to stand in it.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about one change you say you want to make.
Ask yourself:
Is my reason strong enough to support the new choice when the old habit tries to pull me back?
You don't have to defend your reason to anyone else.
Just be honest with yourself.
If the reason truly matters to you, give it more attention today than you give the old excuse.
With you,
Lynn
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