Day 219: The Life Lotto
Last night I was watching The Ultimatum on Netflix (no judging).
A guy in his 20's was explaining to the woman he was with that in his family his parents taught them The Life Lotto. Instead of having money and lots of stuff, they had won the life lottery.
They enjoyed spending time together, meals, travel, just being together.
And they would list all the things they had as a family that showed they had won the life lottery.
I thought that was a wonderful message to give to yourself, and your kids as they're growing up.
So much of our unhappiness comes from the message of society that bigger and better is the goal.
Upgrade your phone every year even though the old one is perfectly fine. Get a new car. Buy a bigger house. Shop at better stores.
What will people think if I don't have the lifestyle that goes along with my income level or position at work?
When I was growing up I always felt so proud that my mom made sure I had beautiful clothes to wear to school. I always felt like I dressed as well as the rich kids in town, even though we were middle class.
The message coming from the U.S. government seemed to focus on consuming. Convincing Americans it was their duty to go for newer, better, more.
And now with social media it's out of control with people comparing themselves to unreal versions of other people's lives.
It distorts our self image and reinforces feelings of not being good enough.
What would shift for you and your family if you started the practice of having won the life lottery?
It doesn't deny the realities of your life, instead it shifts the focus so what's missing doesn't become the whole story.
Even if your kids now have kids of their own, it's not too late.
You can literally reframe your family history by talking about all the wonderful times you had and the things that bonded you together and how that's proof of you winning the life lottery.
Moving forward, choose to make the shift from acquiring objects to experiences.
I'm not talking about sky diving or mountain climbing.
Emotional experiences.
Watching the sunrise or sunset. Going for a walk with someone you care about and having a real conversation.
When I visit family, two of my favorite parts that I miss the most when I'm back home in Mexico, are the early mornings sitting on the patio and having coffee with my sister before our work days start, and sitting with the whole family on that same patio Sunday mornings having coffee and donuts and just talking and laughing for hours.
It's easier to keep our emotional distance from people. That way we guard ourselves from hurt or rejection. But the rewards of allowing this kind of closeness are well worth it.
It's unfortunate that we have been trained to believe that more and better stuff is where our happiness lies.
When we have the dream house or dream job, then we will have finally arrived and we will be at peace.
That is not the truth.
Peace doesn't come from proving you've arrived.
Instead, it comes quietly when you notice what already makes your life rich.
The ordinary moment that suddenly feels like everything when you take the time to notice it and let it sink in.
In reality, if you make peace your priority and your focus, you will find that peace comes and finds you right where you are.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about one part of your life that already feels rich, even if it looks ordinary from the outside.
Ask yourself:
Where have I already won the life lottery?
Let yourself name the simple things.
The people.
The moments.
The routines.
The places where your body softens and your heart feels full.
That is wealth too.
With you,
Lynn
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