Day 228: When the Old Thing Has Already Ended
There was a time when we were happy, excited, even passionate about the things that now are routines at best, ruts at worst.
What happened?
There was so much life energy in the relationship, the job, the group we joined, the new health path, living situation, when we started. And maybe for years.
And then the interest started to decline.
We got bored. It wasn't what we thought it was. We outgrew it.
Or maybe nothing was wrong in a way we could easily explain.
It just stopped feeling true.
And now we just go through the motions with a smile on our face, wearing that mask and pretending we still want to be there.
This is a threshold calling us to cross.
We have been in the in-between for a while, maybe a long while. We just haven't admitted it to ourselves, and certainly not to anyone else.
People who are close may have said something seemed off, but we just downplayed it, not wanting to admit what we weren't even being honest with ourselves about.
Now we have come to the threshold, and there is one of those posts with the little signs pointing in different directions with your options of destinations.
The past, which if we're being honest, hasn't been satisfying for a long time, the present, which can be hard to focus on when there's so much indecision and self-deception, and the final option, the future.
The future is pointing in a direction we've never been before. What if it's not good? What if we have to do things we don't want to do there? What if it turns out to be worse than what we have now?
But, what if everything we've dreamed of and more is over there and all we have to do is walk in that direction and be open to the possibilities?
Why would we choose to stay in a state of emotional numbness when we can rejoin our own life by giving voice and action to what our soul is aching for?
Why would we stay in a situation where we are actively choosing it when it is dis-empowering us?
The answer can be complicated.
Fear of the unknown, fear of what people will think, fear of losing everything, or something else.
Every time we walk away from something that has turned into a shell of its former self, we are walking through an ending and straight into a new beginning.
There is no space in between. Humans don't have pause buttons, no matter how hard we try to slow things down.
Once we stop being firmly planted in something that's limiting us, we immediately move into a new phase of life.
The new beginning may be so subtle you don't even see it. And it could begin before the old part is completely gone.
I'm going through that right now, on two different fronts.
And both feel like the old part is still there. It hasn't fully let go yet, and still, I can feel myself moving into something new.
When shifts are easy and we are clearly choosing something new we can celebrate, then it's easy to see what's happening and crossing the threshold is also a celebration.
When shifts come from something difficult to process or something others could disagree with, then the shift gives us grace by easing us through it in a quieter, more subtle way.
Every ending is a new beginning.
When something dies, something else begins to form in the space it leaves.
Maybe it doesn't look like much at first.
Maybe it only feels like a little more honesty, a little more breath, a little less pretending.
But life keeps moving us forward into new experiences that match who we are becoming.
And once the old thing has already ended inside us, self-leadership asks us to stop pretending we can still make it feel alive.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about one part of your life where you may be going through the motions.
Ask yourself:
Has this already ended inside me, even if I haven't admitted it yet?
You don't have to make a dramatic change today.
Just let yourself tell the truth.
Notice where something feels alive, and where you may be trying to breathe life into something that no longer fits.
With you,
Lynn
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