Day 240: Love Your Addictions
Love your addictions.
Yes, send them love.
Just like the bad relationships, jobs you didn't enjoy, and all the other things you've endured in your life.
All of them have made you a stronger, smarter, more independent person.
They are some of your greatest teachers.
But addictions?
We've always been taught to fight those.
To be clear, loving your addictions doesn't mean continuing to choose them or pretending they aren't hurting you.
It means you stop making yourself weaker by pouring hate, shame, and disgust onto the part of you that is already struggling.
Mother Teresa said, "I will never attend an anti-war rally; if you have a peace rally, invite me."
Fighting against something just gets you more of what you're focusing on, which is the thing you don't want.
Instead, we flip it to what we do want.
Instead of sending feelings of hate and disgust out into the world about the addiction, creating a weakened state, I would send it gratitude for what it is teaching me about myself.
When we fight something, it occupies more of our thoughts than if we send it love and let it go.
The fight becomes a relationship.
We wake up thinking about it.
We measure ourselves against it.
We keep asking if it's winning or we're winning.
And all that attention keeps the energy alive.
Neutralizing our thoughts about it, by not being angry at it or ourselves, allows the energy to shift.
Instead of hanging on to it tightly by spending so much of our energy focused on it, we have room to focus on other things that bring us more happiness and joy.
When we end a relationship, we can be angry with that person, replaying every injustice, and having all kinds of lower emotions flowing from that focus.
We can stalk them on social media, making judgments about their life, and continue those feelings long after they have moved on.
Or, as soon as the front door closes, we can send them love and let them go, grateful for what when learned from that experience.
Because there is not one experience we don't learn something from.
So, the more you think about it, it doesn't seem that odd to love your addictions, because just like anything else, every day they teach you something.
When we hold on to something with our anger, blame, guilt, shame, or resentment, we are sure it will stay right there with us, because of the amount of space we give it in our thoughts and the focus of our energy.
As soon as we send it love, that grip loosens.
We can breathe a little easier.
Love releases us from the fight.
The fight is only hurting us.
Then we can ask a better question.
What is the opposite of what I've been fighting? Is it like what Mother Teresa said?
You don't want to be focused on war by being consumed with fighting against it.
What you really want is to be part of bringing peace, so focus on that.
If you are fighting an addiction, what do you really want?
Freedom?
Peace?
Self-respect?
Energy?
A clear mind?
A body that feels cared for?
A life you don't have to escape from?
Put your focus there. Love the teacher.
Thank it for showing you where you are not yet free.
Then choose the freedom.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about one habit, attachment, or addiction you have been fighting.
Ask yourself:
What has this been trying to teach me about where I am not yet free?
See if you can look at it without shame for a moment.
Let it show you the need underneath it.
Comfort.
Escape.
Safety.
Relief.
Connection.
Then ask yourself what you actually want to move toward.
Let your focus go there.
With you,
Lynn
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