Day 241: Don’t Let Them Manage Your Emotions From Afar
Wayne Dyer said, "When we love ourselves, we refuse to allow others to manage our emotions from afar. Forgiveness is our means to that end."
That is such a powerful way to think about forgiveness.
Because most of us have been taught that forgiveness is something we do for the other person.
We forgive so we can be good, spiritual, or prove we're over it.
But that isn't what forgiveness really is.
Forgiveness is how we stop letting someone who may not even be in our life anymore decide how we feel today.
That's the part that gets our attention.
Because when we keep replaying or retelling what someone did, what they said, how they hurt us, how unfair it was, or what they should have done differently, they are still managing our emotions from afar.
They don't have to call or text or show up at our door.
All they have to do is live in our mind, and our body responds as if the whole thing is still happening.
Our chest tightens.
Our thoughts start racing.
Our mood shifts.
Our energy drops.
And suddenly, our whole vibration has changed because of something that may have happened years ago.
That is a lot of power to hand over.
And most of the time, the other person has no idea they still have that power.
They may have moved on completely and not even think about it.
They also may not remember it the way we do or even care anymore.
And there we are, still letting them take up space in our body, our mood, our energy, and our ability to receive what life is trying to bring us now.
That's why forgiveness is not approval.
It is not saying what happened was okay.
It is not pretending something didn't hurt.
It is not rewriting the story to make it prettier than it was.
Forgiveness is choosing to take your emotional life back.
The Teachings of Abraham say, "There is no reason why Well-Being is not pouring into your experience other than the fact that you are in a bad mood, or are angry or worried about something."
That can sound almost too simple when you first hear it.
But the more I live these principles, the more I understand what they mean.
Well-Being is always available. Love is always available.
But when we're angry, worried, resentful, or stuck in the old story, we're not in a place to receive it.
We're tuned to the pain and injustice, along with the argument we keep having in our own head.
And the Universe responds to the frequency we're living in.
That doesn't mean we shame ourselves for being angry because anger can be useful.
It can show us where a boundary was crossed.
It can help us see the truth of what we were tolerating.
It can give us the energy to finally say, "No more."
But anger was never meant to become our permanent address.
It is information, a signal.
At some point, if we keep feeding it, anger stops protecting us and starts imprisoning us.
The same is true with worry, resentment, and old pain we keep rehearsing because we think staying close to it somehow proves that what happened mattered.
What happened mattered and so does your pain.
And you still deserve to be free.
That's the part we sometimes forget.
We think letting go means the other person gets away with it.
But holding on usually doesn't punish them. It punishes us.
It keeps our nervous system tied to something our soul may be ready to move beyond.
It keeps our energy focused on what we don't want.
It blocks the Well-Being that is trying to pour into our experience.
I have had to practice this so many times in my own life.
There have been people I was angry with for decades because there were things that felt unforgivable.
There were chapters of my life where, if you had told me forgiveness was the path to freedom, I might have said you don't understand the long-term ramifications of what I went through.
Because when you're still in the pain, forgiveness can sound like someone is asking you to let the other person off the hook.
But that's not what this is. This is about taking yourself off the hook.
It's about no longer volunteering your body, your peace, your attention, and your vibration to keep the wound active.
Sometimes forgiveness happens all at once. But more often, it happens in layers.
We forgive a little, then something triggers us and we see there is another layer.
We soften a little, then a memory comes up and we realize there is still more to release.
That means the healing is moving through us in the way our system can handle.
And every time we choose to release even a little of the charge, we reclaim some of our own energy.
We become more available to peace, inner guidance, and the good that's been trying to reach us.
Because the Well-Being has not been withholding itself from us. It has been there all along.
Forgiveness is not a grand spiritual performance.
It's simply the moment we say:
I am no longer willing to let this person, this memory, or this old pain manage my emotions from afar.
I am allowed to love myself enough to release my grip.
I am allowed to choose peace without pretending nothing happened.
I am allowed to stop using my energy to keep the past alive.
That is self-love.
That is self-leadership.
That is how we open the communication with our soul again.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about one person, situation, or old story that still has the power to shift your mood.
Ask yourself:
Am I ready to stop letting this manage my emotions from afar?
You don't have to force forgiveness.
Just notice the cost of holding on.
Notice what happens in your body when you replay the story.
Then take one breath and imagine calling your energy back to yourself.
You deserve access to the Well-Being that is already trying to reach you.
With you,
Lynn
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