Day 257: This or Something Better
One of the hardest lessons for me to learn was non-attachment. Having a mind that is open to everything and not attached to anything.
When we have opinions, things we stand for and stand against, or have a strong desire for something, it can be difficult to not be attached to a certain outcome.
Non-attachment takes a lot of practice. And it's probably not something we will master, but we can get much better at it.
The concept of separating my desire from the attachment to the outcome felt impossible for decades when I was younger.
It was asking me to want something but not care if I got it. That just didn't make sense.
And then I remembered that friends who went to the Unity church would always say, "this or something better", at the end of their prayers.
Because from our human perspective, we don't see the big picture, and we can't see the future ahead of us.
So allowing space for the Universe to know more than we do about the how, when, and what it will look like; we have a desire, but we don't micromanage those aspects.
We think we want something very detailed, but what we really want is the feeling that we've attached to that particular outcome.
Maybe non-attachment isn't about not caring. It's about not gripping the form so tightly that the Universe has no room to deliver the essence.
When we focus on the feeling we desire, it makes it so much easier for the Universe to answer with what matches our vibration.
And it could be something that is so much better than we could have even imagined or asked for from our place of limited knowledge.
I first heard about this concept in my 20's, but it didn't click into place for me until I was in my 50's.
Part of the problem was that I confused clarity with control. I thought I was supposed to get very specific about every detail.
So I would work hard, racking my brain, trying to figure out what I wanted in a way that looked impressive enough to count as a vision. Down to the very last detail.
When I was thinking about a new relationship coming into my life, a new job, moving into a new house, moving to a different state or country, the only thing I knew for sure was how I wanted to feel.
Then I'd go and look at magazines and cut out words and pictures and put together a vision board I'd hang on my wall.
One year at my Women's Business Empowerment Summit, I did a talk on creating a vision for your life. I showed the vision board I had created about 9 months before that. And next to it on the slide, I showed a collage of my photos.
The vision board and photos from my life were so similar, you could barely tell them apart.
The only things that hadn't shown up in my life were the material things, like a luxury car and a private jet.
Why? Because I didn't really want either of those things. Some part of my mind thought that vision boards were supposed to include flashy things. But I don't care about that kind of stuff. I still included them, but didn't have any energy flowing to them at all.
No energy, no vibration to match.
I got what I really wanted, and didn't get the things I didn't care about.
It's all about energy and feelings.
That was such a clear lesson for me.
The board showed me what I thought I was supposed to want. My life showed me what actually had energy behind it.
The feelings were there.
The beauty.
The freedom.
The connection.
The creativity.
The experiences that felt like me.
That helped me understand non-attachment in a completely different way.
It isn't about pretending we don't want what we want.
It's about being honest enough to know what we actually want underneath the picture we've attached to it.
When we focus on the feeling, the Universe has room to bring us this or something better.
And often, something better is exactly what happens.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about one thing you want right now.
Ask yourself:
What is the feeling I'm really wanting this to give me?
Don't worry about the exact form for a moment.
Let yourself find the essence underneath it.
Freedom.
Peace.
Beauty.
Security.
Love.
Ease.
Then give the Universe a little room to bring you this or something better.
With you,
Lynn
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