Day 258: What Do You Actually Want?
As I scroll through Substack, I notice women circling the same question over and over.
They're all saying variations of, "I know I want something different, but I don't know what I want."
They're also afraid to leave what isn't all that bad in case what they're leaving it for isn't everything they think it could be.
It's normal to want to know if what we're doing in life is what we're meant to be doing or how we're meant to be living.
Wayne Dyer has a beautiful quote that says, "That music that you hear inside of you urging you to take risks and follow your dreams is your intuitive connection to the purpose in your heart since birth.
Be enthusiastic about all that you do. Have that passion with the awareness that the word enthusiasm literally means "the God (entheos) within (iasm)." The passion that you feel is God inside of you beckoning you to take the risk and be your own person."
If you were making a checklist to see if you're really doing what's meant for you, feeling enthusiastic toward it, being willing to take risks to do it, and it being your dream to do it would certainly be on that list. So would being good at it, and feeling joy when you do it.
If you can't say that about what you're doing now, or how you're living your life now, there's some course correcting to be done.
Because we're built to be happy, and that means creating a life where every aspect is in harmony and flows with ease.
That's the goal. Is it on track and humming along all the time? No.
Can the majority of our life be like this? Yes, it can.
The more awareness you have about how you feel, the more aligned the energetic vibration you put out is, and that's what returns to you.
Meditation helps you to become aware of what makes you happy. You could also receive ideas and nudges that point you in the right direction for creating a life of true fulfillment.
It's all about feeling your way through life. Your whole being becomes like a metal detector. When you have a better-feeling thought, it beeps. Then that thought leads to another better-feeling thought, and it beeps again. Pretty soon, you're following a path of better and better feelings until you realize that more of your day is being spent feeling good.
The metal detector of your feelings will get you there if you pay attention to those little beeps.
It really is that simple.
Shit happens. And it still will happen after you figure out what you want and begin living it.
But the road will be much smoother, and you will love every minute of it because even the hard parts are still part of what brings you joy.
Mark Twain said, "I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want."
It's so true.
Back when I was teaching women authors and experts how to build a business from their expertise, a business that flowed out of creating the life they wanted to live, one of the core concepts they had to grasp was that just because you can doesn't mean you should.
We have a lot of things that we're able to do, that we're good at, or that we can acquire the skills for. That doesn't mean that's the thing that makes our heart sing and fills our soul with joy.
That is the litmus test, the feeling we should be going for, not just "Well, I know how to do this. I guess this is what I'm supposed to do."
The easy part is taking a class, learning something new, and then you know how to do something. But it still doesn't mean that's what you really want to do, what will bring you joy.
You can scale a business to $500,000, then to 1 million, then to 1 million a month, and you'll have plenty of money, but that also doesn't mean that's what you want to do.
Plus, society has brainwashed us into thinking that if life is okay, that should be enough. Be grateful. Don't ask for too much. Things could be worse.
And if you put yourself out there and dare to want something better, you might lose everything and deserve what you get for not being grateful for what you had.
I've heard many versions of that belief from women over the years. Women who were afraid to step out. Afraid to make a change. Afraid to be honest with themselves about how unhappy and unsatisfied they really were.
But none of that is the truth.
Our whole reason for being here is to express our uniqueness. To use the gifts we've been given. To become more of who we truly are, not less.
There has never been anyone with your exact combination of life experiences, interests, knowledge, desires, lessons, and the way you put them all together.
That matters. You matter.
And the question, "What do I actually want?" is not selfish, greedy, or unrealistic.
It may be one of the most honest questions you can ask.
Because once you begin to listen for the answer, you start expanding into the truth of who you are and the joy of being you.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about one area of your life where you've been telling yourself, "It's fine."
Ask yourself:
But what do I actually want?
Don't rush to make it practical.
Don't talk yourself out of the answer.
Just listen for the feeling underneath the question.
Your soul may not give you a full plan today.
But it may give you one honest clue.
With you,
Lynn
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