Day 267: Don’t Fall in Love With the Plan
When we create a vision for our life, or a business, or relationship, it's easy to fall in love with the plan.
We write it all out, actually writing it out, mapping it out, or visualizing it down to details that we imprint on our minds as necessary for our future.
When I started my vacation rental business, it was doing a favor for a new neighbor, but since she asked, I wanted to make sure I understood what others in the same business were offering.
So I Googled it. Some were big companies that handled rentals that went for $10k+ a day. Some were broader in the premium market and some general property management companies that handled rentals or just management.
I looked at what they each offered as services and what they charged. And then I took out all the things I didn't want to offer or wasn't able to as a one person business.
And even though I already knew exactly what my neighbor expected, which was basically unlocking the door and putting the key inside, then doing the reverse when they left, and having my maid clean their condo, I still made a list of services I would provide and what I would charge.
I charged that amount to my neighbor. That way, just in case I did build a business, I would already have an established rate and services that were already being used. And in this close knit condo development, everyone would know they all get the same deal.
I thought I was being smart. Maybe I was, but I also was making it up as I went along.
Just because I read a bunch of websites, didn't mean I could visualize the reality of what this would look like from the inside as a business I grew to more condos than maybe I should have.
I made commitments to new clients to do the opposite of what their old manager did so they wouldn't have to worry about those things happening again.
When it's your second or third client you still have plenty of time to devote to their every want and need.
And yet, what seemed like simply making my clients happy turned into more like handcuffs down the line when I didn't have that kind of time anymore.
But how could I have seen that coming? I couldn't have. I had no idea so many people would want me to mange their condos. I was the best and my reputation was spreading quickly.
It turned into a 24/7 commitment. No time off, no weekends away, and certainly no vacations. I was taking care of other people on their vacations.
That's why I say not to fall in love with your plan. Instead follow the feeling of a plan and watch every step of the way to see how you feel.
A plan can look beautiful on paper and still be too heavy to carry in real life. That's why the feeling matters.
The feeling tells you when the plan is still serving the vision and when it has quietly started asking you to serve it.
I didn't want to take on all those clients. I took on about 25% more after I knew I was at my full line of what I could comfortably handle and still have a life. but when I listened to their stories of what had happened with their last manager, I had to help them. I just couldn't say no.
So I sacrificed myself in the process. I put their needs and their happiness ahead of mine. And less than an hour before I agreed to do that, I had never met them before!
I had abandoned myself yet again out of a sense of duty, that if I can help, I must help.
My plan was some extra money, because at the time I was just blogging and not really "in business" anymore. Technically I was retired for a while. So why not.
But when I felt called to come back to what I'm on this planet to do, my plate was full, overflowing actually.
I didn't have the bandwidth for anything else. I had to find little spaces of time to do what I love again.
And slowly I started to fire clients, claim more of my time back.
I had ignored the feelings and the voice in my head that said, "Don't do it.", and instead said, sure I can take on one more client.
We can never fully know what is coming. Things change. All the time.
At first I was having fun, but I committed beyond my capacity, and then it became a job, and then golden handcuffs. Not at all what I had planned.
I fell in love with the plan and wasn't willing to do a hard stop.
And more importantly, I allowed myself to fall in love with the plan so deeply that I stopped listening to your soul. I asked it to give me a minute, and I should not have done that.
Caring about my clients was a good thing, but caring about them more than I cared about myself was not. And I paid a price physically and mentally while my soul cried out to be heard again.
I had put it in a box, just for a minute to help these people, and then it turned into years. Time flies.
Looking back, the best thing to do would have been to find a way to include what my soul wanted in the plan, or to say no to the plan.
This is just one example.
We do this to ourselves in relationships, work, living in a place that doesn't feel like home, so we don't make it a home. And 10 years later it still doesn't look like we live there. It's just a place to live, but we're not living. We're just going through the motions.
Louise Hay has a quote that says, "It gives me joy to take care of myself and others." I think the word 'myself' needs to be in bold and underlined with stars around it. Because we see that part, hear it, understand it, and then still don't do it.
We fall in love with a plan rather than a vision that is clear, but not micro-managed.
We forget to leave space for this or something better.
We plan our way into a box when maybe it was just meant to be temporary.
Maybe it was just a new experience, a season, a piece of learning to take with us into what comes next.
But we built such a plan around this new thing that it became a whole big thing when it was never meant to be.
That doesn't mean the plan was wrong.
We have to keep listening and notice when the energy changes.
We have to tell ourselves the truth when something that once felt exciting now feels like obligation, depletion, or golden handcuffs.
The vision is alive. The plan is only one possible path.
So don't fall in love with the plan so deeply that you stop hearing the voice inside you saying, "This needs to change."
Follow the vision.
Keep listening.
Leave room for this or something better.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about one plan, role, commitment, or responsibility that once felt right but may feel heavy now.
Ask yourself:
Am I still following the vision, or am I serving a plan that no longer fits?
Be honest about how it feels in your body.
Notice where there is energy.
Notice where there is resentment.
Notice where you may have confused loyalty with self-abandonment.
You don't have to change everything today.
Just tell yourself the truth about whether the plan still belongs to the life you are creating.
With you,
Lynn
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