Day 302: The Life I Didn't Choose
Last night, what my life for the last 26 years could have been flashed before my eyes.
I was watching a local Phoenix TV station, and I noticed how many commercials they run for wholesale home buyers. They buy houses for cash in any condition.
And then I remembered that back 26 years ago, before I moved to Scottsdale, I had already flown out from Cabo and bought a house that I was planning to remodel and flip. My husband got there, saw the house, decided he liked it, and decided that he didn't want to sell. That was kind of the end of my house remodeling/flipping career before it started.
Then when I joined the high-end mentoring group that taught me how to be an entrepreneur, speaker, and author, there was an expert in doing this kind of real estate in our group. He took about a dozen of us under his wing and mentored us for a few months to help us get started doing what he did.
I remember going home from that seminar and having signs printed up and flyers printed up and putting them up on bulletin boards in grocery stores and different places. I was looking for houses to buy like this. I probably met with two or three different sellers before I realized, "Wow, I just really don't want to do this." And I stopped it right there.
Now, watching these commercials and seeing how many of them there are is one thing. The fact that they're all saying the exact same thing made me really think about it. I thought, "Oh my God, that energy just feels so heavy in my body." Then I said a little prayer: "Thank you, God, for quickly pointing out to me that this wasn't something I wanted to do, even as a side hustle while I learned how to do something else."
Now, I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I had continued down that path instead of what I ended up doing.
Yes, it's possible that I could have done very well at it. I had always done very well in real estate but just talking to those first few sellers showed me that my heart was not in it. That was a part of the real estate world that really didn't appeal to me. I wasn't cut out for wholesaling houses.
Seeing that career scene flash before my eyes of, "Oh my God, that could have been me.", I could have been doing this for the last 26 years and competing with these guys for buying houses wholesale. How many houses, every month or every year for the last 26 years, would I have had to engage with to get those contracts?
It's not even about how much money I could have made. It's just all the driving all over the valley, being on freeways, meeting with people, the finances, the contractors, and everything. All of it just feels so heavy to me now.
When an opportunity first shows up, it can be different. We may think, "Wow, I have this guy that's an expert at this that's willing to mentor this handful of people and show us the ropes."
That looks like a gift. I had an interest in remodeling, so I thought, "Well, why not look at wholesaling? But the thing is, it wasn't a gift for me. It wasn't aligned with who I was then or who I am now."
I'm so grateful that I noticed that so quickly.
And what makes that interesting is that I didn't have to know what the next 26 years would look like to recognize that this wasn't the direction I wanted to go. I only needed to pay attention to how I felt while I was doing it.
That was a very possible path for my life at the time because it was right in line with the fact that, since I was a teenager, real estate was just in my blood. It was something I wanted to do, and then had great success with for decades. So, looking back, I had no reason to doubt that it would continue when this opportunity showed up.
Yet something inside me said, "Oh no, this isn't for you. I don't think so. You need to bow out now."
It shows us that even if choices look really good in the moment, if only we could see down the road into the future, like I just did watching those commercials.
It's kind of "There, but for the grace of God go I," and I'm so glad I didn't stick with it.
That might be a perfect fit for those guys I saw on TV, who are obviously doing well enough to keep advertising. But it wasn't for me.
And that's something worth remembering when an opportunity comes along that looks good on paper, especially when someone successful is offering to show you how to do it.
We don't have to accept every opportunity we're capable of succeeding at.
Sometimes the most important choice we make is recognizing what we don't want, trusting that feeling, and leaving ourselves available for what really does belong in our lives.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about an opportunity you once walked away from, or one you're considering right now.
Ask yourself:
Does this genuinely fit the life I want to live, or does it simply look like a good opportunity?
Pay attention to how you feel when you imagine the everyday reality of pursuing it.
The work involved.
The responsibilities.
The lifestyle it would create.
You can appreciate an opportunity without making it part of your life.
With you,
Lynn
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