Day 310: How Many Times Do You Need to Hear It?
Have you ever asked for guidance about something, received an answer, and then continued asking because it wasn't the answer you wanted?
I've done that.
And sometimes it's almost comical how creative we can become when we're trying to convince ourselves that we haven't really received a clear answer yet.
We ask again. We look for another sign. We talk to someone whose opinion we respect, hoping they'll tell us something different. We read another book, listen to another teacher, or try to find a new way of looking at the situation.
All while something inside us keeps bringing us back to the same answer.
I was thinking about this after yesterday's email about Think and Grow Rich and how differently I understood that book when I returned to it a year or two after first reading it.
There's a difference between not being ready to understand something and understanding it perfectly well but not wanting to accept what it means for our lives.
And I suspect most people experience both in their lives.
Sometimes the guidance we're receiving asks us to question something we've believed for years. It may mean acknowledging that a relationship, career, responsibility, or way of living no longer feels right for us.
And for me, deep down I already knew it.
And even when we recognize that truth, we may not be particularly excited about what following it will involve.
There may be conversations we'd rather avoid, decisions that affect people we love, or practical details we have no idea how to manage.
So we keep asking. Hoping for a different answer.
The interesting thing is that the more we do this, the more we can begin to doubt our own ability to recognize guidance in the first place.
We tell ourselves we're confused, that we need more clarity, or that we're waiting for the right time.
And sometimes that's absolutely true. There are situations where we genuinely need more information, time, or experience before we can make a decision.
But sometimes we're using the search for clarity as a way of postponing a decision we already know we want to make.
That's worth being honest with ourselves about.
One of the things I've learned over more than 50 years of studying personal growth and spirituality is that our inner guidance doesn't always lead us toward the easiest choice.
Sometimes it leads us toward something that makes us uncomfortable because it asks us to stop living according to an old belief or someone else's expectations.
And that can bring up all kinds of resistance.
The mind starts presenting its case for why we should leave everything exactly as it is. It reminds us of everything that could go wrong, everyone who might be disappointed, and all the reasons this would be a terrible time to make a change.
Before long, we've talked ourselves into believing that the familiar path must be the right one.
This is one of the reasons I talk so much about learning to recognize our own inner conversations.
When we become aware of what's happening in our minds, we can begin to distinguish between the guidance that feels true to us and the old stories that immediately rush in to challenge it.
And we can stop expecting every important decision to come with a complete set of instructions.
Just this year alone, I've been shocked by how often I answer something by saying I'm flying by the seat of my pants.
I'm not even exactly sure what that saying means, but I'm using it to mean I'm moving forward without a safety net, not knowing exactly where what I'm doing is leading. I just know how I want to feel when it's done.
Sometimes we know what we want long before we know how we're going to make it happen.
That's part of crossing The Truth Threshold.
There's a point where we recognize a truth about ourselves or our lives, but we're still standing in the in-between, deciding whether we're willing to move forward based on what we now know.
We can spend a long time there, hoping something will change so we won't have to make the choice ourselves.
And then, sometimes in an instant, we're ready.
The situation may be exactly the same as it was yesterday. We may still have all the same practical questions and responsibilities. But something inside us has changed.
We've stopped arguing with what we know. And now we can begin moving forward.
So if you've been asking for guidance about the same thing over and over, consider whether the answer is truly missing. Or whether there's something you've already heard that you're not quite willing to say yes to yet.
You don't have to force yourself to make a decision before you're ready.
But you can be honest with yourself about what you're waiting for.
Sometimes that's the clarity we've been asking for all along.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about something you've been asking for guidance about, especially if you've been going back and forth over it for a while.
Ask yourself:
Am I still looking for an answer, or am I hoping to hear a different one?
Notice what comes up without judging yourself.
If you recognize that you already know what you want, consider what's making it difficult to say yes.
You may discover that you need more information. Or you may recognize an old belief or fear that's ready to be questioned.
Give yourself permission to hear what you already know.
With you,
Lynn
Join me on Substack and read Letters from The Threshold
