Day 311: You Don't Have to Know How It Ends
We tend to spend more time than necessary trying to figure out how something is going to turn out before we're willing to begin.
We can spend days, weeks, sometimes years, considering every possible outcome, hoping to reach a point where we feel completely certain that we're making the right decision.
And if we're really good at it, we can come up with an impressive list of everything that could possibly go wrong.
That paralysis of analysis can leave you sitting in the in-between indefinitely. And I'm sure that's not what you want.
But our mind loves certainty. It wants to know what's coming, how we're going to handle it, and whether we'll be safe when we get there.
And when we can't provide those answers, our mind can become very persuasive about why we should stay exactly where we are.
It doesn't matter that where we are may no longer feel right. At least it's familiar.
This is something I've experienced so many times in my own life, beginning with my decision to leave the life I knew in Wisconsin and move to Florida at 25.
I certainly didn't know how everything would turn out. I was making a major change in my life, and there were plenty of practical things that had to be figured out along the way.
But there was something about that decision that felt right to me.
That's pretty much how every major life decision I've made my entire adult life has gone.
I have an idea that comes from a feeling, the Universe guiding me, my intuition, or my higher self speaking to me.
I look at it and see how it feels to me at that time. If it feels right, I go with it.
I don't worry about how I will explain it or what other people will think because I live my life by my own internal compass. And I fully understand that isn't the way most people live because that's not what we're taught to do.
So, here I am, 45 years later, still finding new reasons to appreciate where that choice led.
Of course, not every decision I've made has worked out the way I expected. I've shared some of those stories with you. And that's life. There will always be ups and downs. That's how we grow and learn.
But what I've come to recognize is that even when something doesn't turn out as planned, it doesn't automatically mean the original decision was wrong.
Sometimes the circumstances change. Sometimes we change. Sometimes the experience teaches us something we couldn't have learned any other way.
And sometimes the thing we thought we wanted turns out to be very different from what our soul was actually asking for.
That's why I've become much more interested in how something feels to me than in trying to predict every detail of how it will unfold.
When I imagine moving in a particular direction, I ask myself if something inside me feels lighter? Am I curious and excited about the possibilities? Does it feel like a natural extension of who I am and the life I want to live?
Or am I trying to convince myself to do something because it makes sense on paper, someone else believes it's a wonderful opportunity, or I feel like I should want it?
Those questions tell me a lot.
There were times in my life where I was experiencing financial difficulties and an opportunity showed up that would give me a good income.
Logic would tell me it's the right thing to do.
I know there have been times I said no thanks because I could feel the heaviness of where that choice would lead me. But I don't remember the details of any of those times.
What I clearly remember are three times I said yes, when I really didn't want to, but felt like I would be crazy to not do it, at least for a while, to put myself in a better situation.
And I remember them because of how unhappy and stressed I became after saying yes to something I 100% didn't want to do.
Now, those questions help me distinguish between genuine excitement and the kind of enthusiasm we sometimes manufacture when we're trying to talk ourselves into something.
We can research, plan, ask questions, and make thoughtful decisions. We can consider the responsibilities that come with whatever we're choosing.
But eventually, if we want something different, we're going to have to take a step into territory we haven't experienced before.
And there's no way to know everything about that territory until we're actually there.
This is part of what happens when we are ready to leave the in-between and cross The Truth Threshold.
We've recognized something true about ourselves, and we can feel that our old way of living no longer fits.
And we're standing there looking toward something unfamiliar, wishing we could see the whole journey before we decide whether to begin.
The truth is we may already have all the clarity we need for the next step. We just don't have the certainty we're demanding about everything that comes afterward.
I've learned that those are two very different things.
Clarity allows us to make a choice that's aligned with what we know about ourselves today. Certainty asks us to know what tomorrow, next month, and the next ten years will bring. And none of us can do that.
As I look at the changes I'm making in my own business and how I want to reach more women, I'm reminded of this again. I have a much clearer understanding of what I want my work and my lifestyle to look like than I did years ago.
I don't know exactly how every part of that vision will come together. But I know what matters to me, what kind of life I want to continue living, and what I'm no longer willing to sacrifice along the way.
That's enough to begin.
And when I reach the next decision, I'll have more experience, more information, and a deeper understanding of what feels right for me.
I don't need to make every decision for the rest of my life today. Neither do you.
Sometimes we can give ourselves permission to move forward simply because we know what the next right choice is for us, even if we have no idea how the whole story will end.
Today's Gentle Practice
Think about something you'd like to do or change, but you've been holding back because you can't see how everything will work out.
Ask yourself:
Do I need more clarity about what I want, or am I waiting for certainty about what will happen afterward?
Notice the difference.
Consider whether there's one step you already feel comfortable taking, even without knowing where all the others will lead.
You can trust yourself to make new decisions as you gain more experience along the way.
With you,
Lynn
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